The Crushes Read online

  “Lexy.”

  “Just call me tomorrow, okay?”

  “Lexy.”

  “I love you,” she said and hung up.

  She shut her phone off, tossed it in the corner chair, and then laid back on her bed, curling into her pillow. It still smelled like Ben from the last time he’d been over when her parents had gone out of town.

  Alexia took in a big breath of his scent, and the tears fell harder.

  Why had he chosen Pepperdine? Why couldn’t he have just gone to college somewhere in Connecticut? And she’d thought him being an hour away was going to be torture.

  Their relationship was over. Maybe he wouldn’t break up with her and maybe he’d promise to be the best long-distance boyfriend in the world, but how was she going to survive without him?

  They only had five weeks to spend together.

  That wasn’t long enough.

  How had Alexia gone from single to having a boyfriend to losing her virginity and her boyfriend all in the same year? It was too much. Having a boyfriend was too much.

  She closed her eyes against the tears. All she wanted to do was fall asleep now and forget this day ever happened.

  THIRTY

  Rule 21: Be mysterious! Show him there is some mystery about you!

  Rule 25: Compliment your crush two times a week!

  Rule 17: Always look your best in the company of your crush!

  When the doorbell rang at the front of Kelly’s house, unease and excitement mixed in her chest, making her heart quicken.

  It was Wednesday night—poker night—which meant that doorbell might very well be Drew.

  Matt and Kenny had already shown up. They were in the basement with Todd eating the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies Kelly had made earlier. They’d also invited Adam over, but he wasn’t there yet.

  Kelly practically ran to the front door, hoping to beat Todd there. She ran into her little sister, Monica, and gently pushed her aside.

  “Jeez,” Monica breathed. “What are you in a hurry for?”

  “Oh…uh…I don’t want to make anyone wait at the door,” Kelly answered.

  When she reached the foyer, she stopped, checked her blue shirt to be sure she wasn’t revealing too much cleavage, and then pulled the door open.

  “Oh,” she said, seeing Adam standing there.

  “You were expecting someone else?” He arched a brow, shot her a teasing grin.

  “No…I just—”

  Drew pulled his truck up to the curb in front of Kelly’s house and parked. She looked past Adam.

  Adam followed her gaze. “Yup, you were expecting someone else.” He sighed and stepped aside as Drew came up the front steps.

  “Hey, Kels,” Drew said. “Adam. What’s up?”

  “Came to kick your ass in poker, that’s all.”

  Drew chuckled. “Yeah. Sure. I’m master champ.”

  Kelly held open the door as the two boys sauntered inside. Monica turned down the TV, inconspicuously watching Drew and Adam as she picked a few crackers from the box on the coffee table. Her eyes got wide when she saw Adam, and she stopped chewing for a fraction of a second.

  “Hey, Monica,” Drew called, but she barely shot him an acknowledgment.

  Kelly didn’t blame her little sister. Adam was, after all, extremely gorgeous. If only she felt that chemistry with him on a personal level. It was still tempting to force the relationship, but she couldn’t, and Adam probably wouldn’t even let her now that he knew how she felt about Drew.

  “Come on,” Drew said to Adam, “let’s head downstairs.”

  “All right.” Adam nodded a parting greeting to Kelly.

  “Wow.” Monica paused the movie when the boys were out of hearing range. “Who was that? Is he your new boyfriend?”

  “No. We’re just friends.”

  “Why?” Monica sounded horrified by this idea.

  “Because…” Kelly went to the kitchen for her second snack, the one she’d use to get herself downstairs without seeming obvious.

  “Because why? Have you looked at him? I mean, really looked at him? He’s so cute.”

  “I know, Mon. I’m not blind.”

  “Then he doesn’t like you?”

  Kelly took out the big plastic bowl of black bean salsa she’d made earlier and popped the top. “I don’t know if he likes me or not. But we’re just friends. I like someone else.”

  Monica pulled herself up on the kitchen counter and pushed her strawberry blonde ponytail off her shoulder. For a thirteen-year-old, she was entirely too boy-crazy. At least that’s what Kelly thought.

  Monica licked cracker cheese from her lips. “Who do you like, then?”

  “Like I’m going to tell you!”

  “I won’t tell anyone.”

  Kelly rolled her eyes. “Like the time you promised you wouldn’t tell Todd about how I broke his Playstation?”

  Monica shrugged innocently. “That was an accident. I thought he wouldn’t be mad.”

  “I’m not telling you,” Kelly said again, because her sister would tell Todd and then Todd would bug her about it and possibly make her life hell until she promised never to crush on his friends again.

  But worst of all, what if Drew found out?

  It was one thing to admit to yourself that you were in love with your best friend’s boyfriend, but once it started getting around, it would become real and embarrassing and shameful.

  Monica grew bored eventually and went back to her movie. Kelly filled a bowl with tortilla chips and grabbed her homemade salsa, then headed downstairs.

  Alternative music blared from a stereo on the small entertainment center. Todd had pushed the couch farther back to make extra room for the metal folding chairs that sat around the red felt poker table.

  Drew threw down his cards, flashing three jacks. The guys burst into shouts of surprise and awe.

  “Master champ,” Drew said breezily, sliding the red, white, and blue chips into his pile.

  Kelly set down the snacks and looked over Adam’s shoulder at the new hand he’d been dealt. He had two nines, a ten, a jack, and an ace. Not a very good hand, that one.

  “What do you think?” Adam asked her.

  She pointed to the ten and jack. “Get rid of those.”

  “Hey, hey!” Todd yelled.

  Adam said, “What?”

  “No asking your girlfriend for help,” Todd said.

  Kelly grunted. “We’re not—”

  “We’re just friends, dude,” Adam said.

  Drew stilled and looked from Adam to Kelly. “Just friends?”

  Adam nodded.

  Drew’s lips twitched as if he were going to smile but decided to bury it.

  “Oh,” he said, his eyes lingering on Kelly, “that’s cool.”

  “Yeah,” she said, realizing all too late that Drew hadn’t really been talking to her, just looking at her.

  The tension was almost palpable. Kelly shifted when the guys hollered again about something else, but Drew, he didn’t say or do anything but look at Kelly.

  I’m losing this battle, she thought. How am I ever going to stop liking him when he looks at me like that?

  Sighing, she turned away, escaping quickly upstairs.

  “Hey,” Drew said from Kelly’s open bedroom door.

  She looked up from her CosmoGirl! magazine. “Hey.” She sat up on the bed, tucking her feet beneath her. “Game all done?”

  He nodded. “Everyone ran out of chips.”

  “And who was the one who had all the chips when the game was over?”

  “Well, me, of course.”

  “Were you counting cards again?”

  He gave her an impish grin. “I’ll never tell.” He came farther into the room and, with every step, his good mood seemed to slip away. “Have you talked to Sydney at all?”

  “No. Not much. She’s been kinda distant lately.”

  Drew plopped down next to Kelly. She tensed, her emotions conflicting. She wanted to be clos
e to him, but felt guilty for it. She scooted a few inches to the left, away from him. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it.

  “I haven’t been able to talk to her much. She isn’t opening up about her mom leaving.”

  “Yeah. That was crazy, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah. Who does that? Just ups and leaves their family?”

  Kelly shook her head. “I don’t get it. That’s for sure.”

  A short silence spread between them. Kelly repositioned herself on the bed, trying to get comfortable. If she’d known Drew was going to come into her room, she would have put something else on. Instead, she was in a pair of green-and-purple-striped shorts made to resemble men’s boxers.

  As if reading her unease, Drew looked over at her, then down at her legs right next to him. “I wanted to tell you,” he looked at the floor, folded his hands together, “that you look good today.”

  A blush instantly pinked Kelly’s cheeks. She pulled hair down in front of her eyes, hiding herself and the pleased look on her face. How could she follow Rule 21 (be mysterious!) when she could barely keep herself together around Drew?

  “You look good, too,” she mumbled. “Those are my favorite jeans, by the way.”

  His eye contact was sudden and intense. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  This bout of silence felt, not uncomfortable, but dangerous. As if it were prefacing something forbidden between them.

  Kelly quickly looked away.

  “So,” Drew said, rubbing his hands together, “you and Adam? I thought you guys were together.”

  “No. We’re just good friends. I like someone else.”

  Drew raised a brow. “Who?”

  “Secret,” she said with a smile.

  “I have a secret, too,” he said softly.

  “Yeah?”

  He nodded. “I like someone else, too.”

  Kelly raked her teeth over her bottom lip once, twice, then once again.

  “Drew, I—”

  “Dude, let’s go.” Todd burst in the room, his car keys jingling from his fingers. “We’re supposed to meet Heather in five minutes.”

  Drew stood up abruptly. “I’m coming.” He glanced at Kelly over his shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Yeah,” she said.

  When the front door slammed shut, Kelly collapsed back on her bed. She hadn’t done anything remotely physical, but her breathing was quicker, her heart beating excitedly in her chest.

  Had Drew almost admitted liking her?

  An hour later, Drew called.

  “Hey,” she answered.

  “This might sound insane, Kels,” he began, ignoring a greeting altogether, “but I have to say it. So just listen, okay?”

  Kelly’s heart was a fervent drum in her chest. “Okay.”

  Drew took in a breath. “I had a crush on you when we were kids, and I never said anything because I didn’t think you felt the same way, you know, because I was a huge dork back then, and then Sydney…” He sighed. “I’m in love with you, Kelly. I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

  It felt like the blood in Kelly’s veins froze over, like her heart stopped beating altogether. She didn’t even blink.

  “Say something, Kel.”

  She wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream at the top of her lungs. This was right and wrong all at the same time.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I have to go.”

  She hung up before he could object.

  She closed her eyes, tears biting beneath her lids.

  This was easily the best and worst thing that had ever happened to her.

  THIRTY-ONE

  Rule 34: Do not get depressed and listen to sad love songs if your crush does not notice you!

  Raven’s decision to act distant toward Blake was working well. Maybe too well.

  She grabbed a wet cloth and came out from behind the counter at Scrappe. Blake and Mil-D were there sitting on the two pumpkin-colored chairs near the front window. Blake had said no more than two words to Raven since he came in and it was starting to drive her nuts.

  Was he playing games with her now? Served her right. She had, after all, used the Crush Code on him, which really, in its truest form, was a game. Especially when one of the rules specifically said to act distant but interested.

  Cloth in hand, Raven went over to the round café tables and started washing them, hoping she wasn’t too obvious.

  Had she done something to piss Blake off? Why was he ignoring her?

  With every table she washed, she got closer to the front windows and closer to Blake. He had his cell open, texting someone.

  “Andrea wants us to come out to Vegas,” he told Mil-D. “She’s having her birthday party at PURE.”

  “Dude,” Mil-D shook his head, “that ain’t our scene. I don’t know.”

  Yes, good thought, Mil-D. Keep Blake away from those scary Hollywood starlets who hop cities just to celebrate their birthdays.

  Was that the kind of girl Blake liked? Because if that was the case, he was way out of Raven’s league. She couldn’t compete with Hollywood girls with their pearly white veneers and bleached blond hair and stick-thin figures.

  Not that she needed to compete with them anyway. She didn’t like Blake like that.

  Blake flipped his phone closed and took a sip from his frappé. “Who cares where it’s at? Andrea always throws the best parties.”

  Mil-D shrugged. “All right. Whatever you want.”

  When Blake looked over at her, Raven suddenly realized she’d stopped washing the tables and was now staring at him. She went ill with embarrassment and disappeared in the back room before she did something really stupid.

  At home later that night, Raven put on one of the quieter, more angsty songs by the alternative band, Gray Door. She was in no mood for peppy, upbeat songs. Most of all Kay-J’s songs were poppy tracks, no matter how badly Horace wanted her to learn the lyrics.

  “But you’ve thought about the contest, right?” he asked, twirling in half circles in her computer chair.

  “Yes, I’ve thought about it.” She flopped back on the bed and spread out. She knew she was being dramatic, but she didn’t care.

  Horace stopped twirling. “Have you talked to your mom yet?”

  Raven rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. She’d never let me go.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t even go.”

  “No. You need to go.”

  She sat up. “Why? Why do you want me to do this so badly?”

  He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I’ve already told you.”

  “Yeah and you’ve never been one to think the band was pointless or a dead end. I mean, seriously. What is going on?”

  He shook his head. “It’s nothing, okay?” He got up and came over to kiss her. “I just want to see you succeed. Is that so bad?”

  “Well…no.” She grabbed her throw pillow and picked at the fuzz sticking to the fleece material. “I guess I can probably get to the city without my mom finding out.”

  Horace thought about it before answering. “I hate to see you lie to your mom, but once you win that contest, she can’t really say much about it. And you’ll only be there one day.”

  She nodded. “Now I just need to figure out how I’m getting there without her noticing I’m gone.”

  Horace kissed her forehead. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “I gotta go. But I’ll see you tomorrow. Think about practicing those Kay-J tracks.”

  “I will.”

  He waved to her before leaving, and she begrudgingly turned on her iPod to the first Kay-J track.

  August

  THIRTY-TWO

  Rule 29: Do not write your crush an anonymous Email or letter, because he might think someone else sent it!

  “Just tell him already,” Adam said, holding up his padded hands for Kelly to pu
nch.

  Kelly unleashed a right hook and then a double left. Kickboxing was good for venting frustration.

  “Just call him up and say, ‘Hey, Drew, I’m in love with you, too.’ It’s really not that hard.”

  Kelly pushed forward with a wild right hook. “Yes, it is hard because he’s going out with my best friend!” She landed another right and then bent over, resting her gloves on her knees. Her breath came fast, sweat rolling down her temples.

  Why? Why? Why?

  Why her? Why Drew? It was like the Fates had conspired against her. Or maybe it was her own idiotic fault for not telling Drew how she really felt three years ago before he started going out with Sydney.

  If she had, maybe it would be her with Drew right now, not Sydney. Maybe they’d be planning their senior years together, trying to decide which college to go to together.

  “You all right?” Adam asked, ripping apart the Velcro on his pads. He tossed them to the side. They thudded against the wall, the sound echoing through the room.

  Kelly straightened and wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her arm. “You really think I should tell him how I feel?”

  Adam nodded. “He deserves that much. He came out and told you what he was feeling and you practically hung up on the poor guy.”

  Kelly winced. She had done that, hadn’t she? That was seven days ago now. Drew hadn’t called her since. He also hadn’t made one single appearance at the house. Todd even commented on how Drew had flaked on him Tuesday night. Apparently, a new video game had come out, and they were supposed to check it out together.

  Drew must hate her. He must think of her as a huge jerk.

  “I should call him,” she mused, holding out her hands so Adam could remove the boxing gloves.

  “You should talk to him in person, though.”

  Kelly paled, picturing it in her head. How was she supposed to tell Drew she loved him straight to his face without stuttering or passing out or something else equally embarrassing?

  Adam was right about one thing, she needed to be honest with Drew because he’d been honest with her. Unfortunately, so much time had passed since his phone call that Kelly worried he wouldn’t want to see her now.